Short Stories

When I Look Into The Mirror

Warning: Depression and suicidal thoughts

When I look into the mirror I see a girl, her eyes are dull and they don’t shine with light anymore. Even though she is wearing a bright pink dress which comes with a shiny day, she doesn’t shine like she used to. Her shoulders are slumbered but they are full of stress. There is no smile on her face anymore which used to light up her whole face, and if it is on her face nowadays, it is fake and shows that she isn’t really happy. She is then just trying to show everyone not to worry about, but they do and that hurts her. It hurts her that she is hurting others, or at least she is thinking she is hurting them.

When I look into the mirror I see a girl, feeling very tired. You can see it by the dark circles beneath her eyes that she hasn’t been sleeping well for a while. There is still some sleep in her eyes, but she hasn’t washed her face this morning, which would have removed it. She doesn’t care about her appearance anymore. She doesn’t wear make-up anymore. She doesn’t think she is pretty or deserves to be looked at.

When I look into the mirror I see a girl, how is trying to fight her demon. Her demon is haunting her dreams and thoughts. When she has too much time to think, the demon is making her think of how unworthy she is, how she is better of death and how she could end her life. She doesn’t want to listen to the demon, she constantly tries to banish him from her thoughts, but he has his dark and sharp claws gripped on her mind and no matter how hard she is pulling, he isn’t letting go. The thoughts scare her so much, she is afraid that the demon won’t stop with only thoughts.

When I look into the mirror I see a girl, who isn’t loving herself. She has always been having trouble with loving herself, she puts others before herself and thinks of herself less worthy than others. She is tired of the idea, she puts upon herself to please everyone, to make everyone proud of her. And she feels the pressure of the expectations she puts upon herself.

When I look into the mirror I see a girl, who knows what she wants for her future to be, but she doesn’t know any more if she is able to realize what she has in mind. She is starting to wonder if that is the best future for her, she wonders what would become of her if she would quit everything, except life, and just start all over again.

When I look into the mirror I see a girl, seeking desperately for help. She is begging for help, even though she has to wait because there are more people in the line before her, who also need help. She is screaming while her voice doesn’t produce sound, her eyes are scream while the tears run down her face. She is hugging herself in the hope that it would somehow comfort her a little that it would take a bit of the deep internal sadness and despair away, but it doesn’t.

When I look into the mirror I don’t see myself anymore…

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