How are you all doing? Last Friday I handed in my retake of my research plan, which is part of my thesis and that has also been the reason I haven’t been posting at all the past few weeks. I was very worried while making it and I had been working on it non-stop until I handed it in. But now that is taken care of, I can finally breathe again. I can do that until the end of the week, then I know how I did it and then I would have to continue it (if I get a positive grade, otherwise…I wouldn’t know what I would do).
But let’s actually get to the really purpose I am writing this post. Yesterday I came to the conclusion that today it is has been a year that I got the diagnose ‘depression’. When I think about it, it all seems to be so far away but also very close. It was a new phase in my life, the phase I would put myself first and for the first time in my life, not school.
Before I got into my depression I was only thinking about school, getting into the next year, to get my Bachelor degree. I didn’t have time to think about myself, to discover myself. But then I had time, since I took a half year of school and in that half year or this year in general, I have learned so much about myself and life in general.
These are the things I learned:
- I have actually learned to like myself more than I did before. Of course I still have days I think the worse of me, but I am a step closer to loving myself unconditionally, which I have never done before.
- People will understand and sympathy with you. Not all people will do this, but the once that matter do, like my family, friends and of course you guys. The amount of support I got from you and the people around me is heartwarming when I think back on it.
- It is good to speak your mind and to be yourself. At first you will get strange faces when you do this, because people who know you aren’t used to this, but you will get positive feedback on the way you are caring yourself.
- You matter! You are enough!
- Everything will come, don’t worry too much about things you can’t influence, like the future. All you can do right now, is setting goals to get as close to the future picture you have in your head.
- When you are having negative thoughts, it is a good thing to take a step back and analyze those thoughts, where do they come from and what is feeding those thoughts? Is it realistic, what would you say to a friend who would think that? (This is a question I got a lot!)
- You need to take time for yourself, to discover yourself and get to know yourself.
- I have learned to be more open about how I feel and what I am thinking.
So, I believe we continue to keep learning things, every day, every week and every year. So what did you learn in the past year?
As last I would like to thank you all, for bearing with me in the past year and for supporting me. I feel at home here and I feel myself. So thank you!